The Biggest Lie I Ever Believed: “This Is It.”
A few years ago, I realised something that caught me completely off guard. My greatest fear wasn’t failure. It wasn’t making a mistake, looking foolish or getting things wrong. It was that “This is it.”
Not because life was awful. In many ways, it looked exactly as it was supposed to. I had a career, a home, responsibilities and plenty to be grateful for. From the outside, everything appeared fine.
But underneath was a quiet feeling that there had to be more than simply getting through each week until the next weekend. I couldn’t shake the sense that life was meant to feel a little more alive than it did.
Perhaps you’ve felt that too?
Not unhappy enough to make a dramatic change. Not unhappy enough to complain. Just… flat. Going through the motions. Comfortable.
And that’s what makes comfort so deceptive. There’s nothing obviously wrong, so we convince ourselves that wanting something different must somehow be ungrateful. We tell ourselves that other people have bigger problems, that we should simply appreciate what we have, or that perhaps this is just what adulthood feels like.
Over time, we stop asking ourselves what we really want.
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One of the things I love most about coaching is that it isn’t really about giving people answers. More often than not, it’s about helping them untangle the stories they’ve been carrying around for years.
“I’m too old.”
“I’m not confident enough.”
“I’ve missed my chance.”
“I’m just not that sort of person.”
These stories rarely begin with us. They often start with an offhand comment from a teacher, a difficult relationship, a knock to our confidence or a season of life that left us questioning ourselves. Slowly, those thoughts become beliefs, and before we know it they’re making our decisions for us.
The fascinating thing is that most people don’t realise they’re living according to a story rather than a fact.
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People often come to coaching because they want more confidence. It’s one of the most common things I hear. But over the years I’ve started to believe that confidence isn’t always what we’re searching for. Sometimes it is just permission.
Permission to apply for the job we’ve been talking ourselves out of or leave the situation that no longer fits or to wear the bright outfit, speak up in the meeting, book the holiday or finally start the business we’ve been dreaming about.
We tell ourselves we’ll do those things when we feel confident. It arrives afterwards, built quietly through every small act of courage. Every application sent. Every conversation had. Every uncomfortable first step becomes another piece of evidence that whispers, “Maybe I can do this after all.”
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That doesn’t mean everyone needs to reinvent their lives overnight. In fact, I rarely believe that huge, dramatic changes are the answer.
Sometimes your next chapter starts with something wonderfully ordinary.
Small decisions have an extraordinary habit of changing the direction of our lives.
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Looking back now, I realise my greatest fear was never really that “This is it.” It was that I might stop asking whether there was another way.
Today, that question has become one of the biggest gifts in my life. It has led me to new opportunities, new friendships, a new business and a much clearer understanding of who I want to become.
So I’d love to leave you with one question.
If fear, guilt and other people’s opinions weren’t invited to make today’s decisions, what would you do next?
You don’t have to change your whole life tomorrow. But perhaps you could take one small step towards the version of yourself you’ve quietly always suspected was there.
Because I genuinely believe life is too short to live smaller than you’re capable of.
